Government Shutdown Impacts Park Creatures
As the government shutdown comes closer to reality members of the National Park Critter Alliance (NPCA) grow ever more excited.
A midnight deadline has just passed for Congress to pass a law funding the government. Republicans in the House of Representatives refuse to pass a bill that includes funding for Obamacare, while the Democrats will not consider a bill that defunds the President’s healthcare law.
Both major parties claim to be championing the will of the American people. In the latest polls, Sixty per-cent of Americans say that the fight over Obamacare is not worth a shutdown.
Senator Ted Cruz, the Texas legislator who is often portrayed as the spearhead of the Tea Party wing of the Republican Party said that he didn’t want the government to shut down adding that Democratic Senator and “Majority Leader Harry Reid has essentially told the House of Representatives and the American people, ‘Go jump in a lake.’”
For his part, Senator Reid blamed Congressional Republicans for the shutdown noting that Democrats have agreed to fund the government for six weeks at current levels, and compared members of the Tea Party to bullies saying:
With a bully, you cannot let them slap you around because today they slap you five or six times tomorrow it’s seven or eight times.
All this political wrangling is being closely watched by the creatures, both known and fantastical who live in America’s National Parks, as the Parks would be closed for the duration of the stalemate.
The creatures remember the last government shutdown of 1995-1996, in which Park services closed for 28 days. During those weeks, the Critters had the entire run of the place with Elves partying in Acadia, Rocs flying unconstrained in Yosemite, and even reports of a Unicorn mating in Glacier.
According to Grizz Davis, President of the NPCA, the Critters have very good relations with authorities of the National Park Service, with some members even serving as rangers. Davis notes that he even has a twin brother working for the Service in Yellowstone, and that he feels bad for the hardworking individuals who will be put out of work by the stalemate. He explains however that a shutdown
“is good every decade or so because it gives us a chance to let out some steam and revert to a more primitive time and express ourselves in a way that we cant in front of a busload of teenagers on a field trip.”
Groundhog Riccchiie Digudug agreed with Davis adding that it seemed like it was the season for both politicians and the forest creatures to act a little recklessly and indulge their id for a time. Digudug said that she was looking forward to attending the reunion tour of the G-Hog Metal Band SteelDigB scheduled for the Grand Tetons this weekend. With no human supervision, the concert is expected to be epic.
- US shutdown looms amid stalemate (bbc.co.uk)
- Government Nears Shutdown as Parties Reject Budget Plans – Bloomberg (bloomberg.com)
- Odds of a government shutdown spike as GOP unveils new spending bill (firstread.nbcnews.com)
- Senate rejects House funding bill with shutdown in clear sight (thehill.com)