Ben Affleck uses Third Wish on Batman Role

A lamp similar to the one found by Affleck. Photo courtesy of the Los Angeles County Museum of Art

Ben Affleck has used the final wish from his Genie, and Batman movie fans now have their leading man.

On August 22, Warner Brothers announced that Affleck will be the next Caped Crusader; a character who will be played as  “tired and weary and seasoned and been doing it for awhile,” according to WB CEO Kevin Tsujihara.

Both Batman and Affleck fans reacted with puzzlement to the casting, with even the Atlantic Wire asking the question : “Why we’re afraid of Ben Affleck’s Batman.”

The secret behind the casting decision has now been revealed as Ben Affleck’s erstwhile Genie has confirmed that the actor used his final wish on landing the role.

According to the Genie, Affleck discovered his magical lamp while walking with his friend Matt Damon to Cambridge Rindge and Latin school as a high school freshmen.  The lamp had been unearthed by construction on a local development project, and Ben stooped to pick up the lamp which was just lying on the side of the street.

After Affleck rubbed the lamp in an attempt to read the faded inscription, the Genie emerged, granting Ben three wishes.  Ben immediately used his first wish on an assurance that he and Damon would be friends forever.  The Genie granted his wish, and Damon smacked his younger friend for ‘being such a dumb-a**’ and using his first wish so frivolously.

The now guaranteed besties then took two years before deciding to use the second wish on securing for themselves fame and fortune as A-list movie stars.

That wish was so successful that Affleck waited close to three decades before using his last wish.  The Genie says that he, Affleck and Damon became close friends during this time and that he suspects that Affleck waited so long to make his final wish because he would miss the Genie’s company.  And the Genie says that he didn’t pressure Ben to make that final decision because he was happy to hang out with the pair who “at heart are pretty good guys.”

The Genie was caught off guard by Ben’s decision to use the third wish on landing the Batman role, especially after achieving such great self-made success as a Director with Gone Baby Gone, The Town, and Argo.  Because of his fondness for the actor the Genie wouldn’t speculate on the seemingly rash decision.

The lamp-dweller tried to persuade Affleck that he should at least hedge the wish to include a clause insuring that the movie would be a success, but Affleck wouldn’t take his advice because he felt that would be cheating.

The Genie now gets a month off to travel the world before he must return to confinement to await his next finder.  He wishes his old friends well, and hopes that copies of the new Batman are still in circulation the next time he emerges from his lamp.